it was like eating out sand paper
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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