Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
