Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
