I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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