My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
