Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
