i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
