So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
