well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
