Betty ford says i'm here all night
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
