i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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