Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
