I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
