Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You're completely useless in the revolution.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
