i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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