Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
