Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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