He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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