Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
