hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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