"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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