I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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