Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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