There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
where are you?
Hypothermia
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Randomize
