Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
