Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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