am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
