he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
