Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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