6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
