its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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