Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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