i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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