tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
