Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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