wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize
