I can text with my tongue
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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