Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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