so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
