Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
