The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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