i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
