i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
