DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
