I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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