i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
