I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
