high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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