his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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