Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
