i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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