In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
