And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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