A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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